2011年1月23日星期日

A girl of the decade - has been reluctant to delete the phone's novel, read n times, or to see the first cry after the first novel (to _ Shuang Hao.

I'm not a natural one described Cotyledons, and I have talked to say that my text editor way too messy, in fact, I was a simple-minded animals. .I think described in this decade, as the bonsai pot broken long, lush foliage, a headache. .In the end, I chose to begin at the beginning, described the process to avoid what I miss, this cruel decade, this crazy decade, there is no permit ignored. .Two thousand one hundred ninety-nine four years, I am sixteen years old, Chunhongchibai, bright eyes gaze good. .Li are sixteen years old, single fold high nose, thin lips cold thin fingers. .He was three months younger than I am three weeks plus three days. .Order book says women than men for three years, or three months, they were destined entanglement. .This is years later, I saw the sentence, Thriller. .Li are typical nerd, quiet, dull dull, looks cool. .I have not seen a man after the appearance can be described as cold. .He is my classmate, my desk against the wall, close to the windows, every class, I have to wait for Li are left seat, I can go out, He was a big, I always inevitably rubs up against his past behind him, which .my hiding something. .Sixteen-year-old girl, do not want to, and independent of any physical contact with the opposite sex. .Li were chosen to be a boy does not love sports, in addition to the toilet, and calisthenics, he lying on the desk to write about painting, I am sorry again and again, and Li both said that you let me go out, I will look ſ�ڴ�̨��.the next class of students came and went in the corridor, from time to time, and other students visiting through the window bars as in conversation. .Because it is the same table, almost all activities are homogeneous groups I and Li, which makes me very angry sixteen-year-old. .Li's hands are white as the little girl's hand, when the boy working class can not make, cleaning, often I sweep the six groups, he was sweeping the 2 groups, then I swear I must be the teacher .adjust the seat. .At that time, boys and girls can not talk too much, otherwise there is puppy love rumors flying in the sky. .I and Li were not rumors. .Because we rarely speak. .I look down on his stiff clumsy. .He could not understand me sentimental. .The first year of high school, most of the words we say is: The Intellectual, let it. .Holding a piece he wrote: Well, good. .Extremely bored, I will see them playing chess. .I would rather abruptly when read ask: Why did it like to go sideways? .Why did the horse can not walk straight? .Li's opponents are mentally retarded old laugh at me, I turned over the supercilious said: I do not know not to ask what will happen? .Li are always explained to me patiently. .Gradually understand the original chess so fun. .Gradually, Li were replaced by my opponent, class bell rang, Li are to work out from the desk in my ear that chess conspire: to kill a bar. .I was fascinated of chess has come to the point of obsessed. .I remember in high school for three years, about a year of free time I have been racing against time and the Intellectual in chess. .The rise of a story without warning, I and Li Jun, the age of sixteen, a pure dream, he wanted to become an international chess master, and I want to be a famous writer. .Our love would have no intersection, in the end I was dragged into his world, fascinated by chess, literature, my dream is out the window, which resulted in the difficulties I described today. .I did not ask the teacher for a seat, I and Li are actually the same table to maintain a two-year relationship, our class is a dull old man, and he did two years, not adjusted my seat. .Li and I are still not rumors - that is impossible. .Race against time because the game of chess, so every day at noon Dafan and cleaning are often contradictory, if we clean up together, until to Dafan sure to line up, so finally I and Li have agreed to him the meal, I even put all the rice .tickets are handed over to him and let him for my assignment. .And I am responsible for cleaning duty, and even homework, I'm trained to hand good character, and Li are the font to mimic the real ones in the state. .Their own job, we need only 15 minutes, then start killing themselves in array will be together. .Then, as if never tired. .The beginning of the story is often not expected to go. .As I and Li are, pure fellow chess player relations, but also became a couple rumors. .Who Li are carrying my lunch box do? .Who I am and Li are operating errors are the same? .Who We first bumped heads stay for a noon it? .Li and I were the teacher called the office, I also disagree. .I stared at the toes, listening to the teacher in earnest, listening to both Li and the teacher got angry debate, dizziness, feeling all around in the rotation, a floating feeling. .Wave until the teacher said: Well, you go. .I and Li were out of the Dean's Office, silently through the long corridors, stable pace, mood and transparent. .Around the corner, The Intellectual laugh, he said: too funny. .This calculation Taosexinwen, right? .Seventeen years old, he backlighting, face down is completed. .I have only one meter away from him, looked up at him slightly, he looked at me and smiled and smiled and began to look stiff. .All my heart jump, at noon the silent stairs, he stepped in down and gently pinching my fingers said: You really look good, I like you. .I like the deer run away. .That year, the day that the sun, freeze in my life. .Three first year of college, I was thinking of tortured wreck shape. .I love that person, in the distant Guangzhou, fourteen hours between us drive back and forth two hundred eighty-two tickets. .Li and I both agreed, meet every two months, starting Friday night I am from Wuhan, Guangzhou Saturday morning, and then back to school Sunday night, Monday morning and rushed to the school. .The next meeting, the small are coming from Guangzhou, and then go back. .This back and forth, we have nearly two years running times, in the end, the two of us can be secure in the crowded, dirty sleeping carriage. .Last year in the cinema to see "Zhou Yu's Train", I watched to howl, people around looked at me surprised how will they know, I have such and such, in the back and forth on the train, happy to run around. .We always have lots to talk then, as if every cell should show to each other to see, I went to his school, female students living in his dorm room, he went to my school to live in my boys .the accommodation. .In order to allow their students to be happy that we do not know how much to pay a smiling face, as well as how many things people do. .1998 summer vacation, I and Li both have decided not to go home, two people tutor to earn money in exchange for more together. .My birthday is August 8, those days looking for work, almost forgot about the incident. .Birthday the day before, I received a sum of royalties, the number is not small, almost three months to maintain my living expenses. .I was thrilled. .I decided not to tell Li Jun, a direct immediate concern Guangzhou to surprise him. .7 August night, I bought tickets on the train before the phone rang a small all quarters, he fed a cry heard, and I hung up. .Sure he was on the line. .Along the way, I was thinking, I stood in his dormitory room door early in the morning, what he should look. .I do not know, that time, Li and I were off in a train, but also against the window, thinking to surprise me. .I do not know that we brush the moment, in which some distance on. .But if that day you see two young figure, leaning against the window edge, Tuozhuo Sai happy laugh, that is, the Intellectual in the age of nineteen and large his girlfriend of three months Shen Yao. .This is our second time passing. .I arrived at the quarters were small, they were told to find my little all, and I slumped on the ground, tears. .I went to my dorm janitor called, no answer, no one summer in the dorm. .I'll stop playing stop playing. .Finally came to an impatient voice, and good students that I know, I asked her this morning, no one is looking for me, she said no, then I heard the phone side of Li were asked of her voice, he .Q: Students, do you know where Yao Shen yet? .I have students in there laughed and said: **, movies have not a coincidence ah! .You waiting for, ah, your boyfriend over here. .Li are just fed a cry, I cry out to wow. .Janitor's uncle quickly handed me a tissue, I said all I did was to give a small surprise you, how do you go to a Well in Wuhan, he said, Well today is your birthday, I want to come early in the morning, give you a birthday surprise ah .. .We blame the phone, sorry, I finally decided to wait for him in Canton, he was sitting at the car back to Guangzhou. .I took the face of the confetti, red-eyes sitting on the steps of the Guangzhou station, did not drop into the rice. .Great power of love to the amazing, I have only one wish, that is, wait here, first saw him, threw himself into his arms wept. .I then sat blankly, steady stream of people around, I saw the couple actually are, how happy they are, they can have so much time together. .Night, with marshals came over and said: girl, you are for them to stay or car ah? .Yang Zhelian I said: them to stay, Wuhan and Guangzhou K57. .He kindly said: You go to a hotel to sleep, so many Leia. .I shook my head said no, I'm not tired. .He said: Well, girl, night, few people, dangerous, if you have something to come to me, I'm in the duty room. .Well I hum the nose, said, tears streaming down pulled and crash. .I stood next to the station on a large pier, dressed in red skirt and white blouse, I find my little crowd were. .Small were held me down from behind in the crowded to kiss me. .I said I'm sorry, did not accompany me over 19 years old birthday. .I cried not, hands and feet to be numb. .Qu grievance tears never seem to stop. .He used a little bit of that cold hand wipe my tears, and finally we both laughed. .He said I like a faucet, like switching a twist tears down. .Yes ah, at that time, why there are so many tears to flow? .In fact, four described here, and I still can not find our separate reasons. .Sometimes, love to go, and love as there is no reason. .In fact, we separated. .Junior year, we broke up. .Do not think I was in vain for the story, ask who is willing and who have the courage to love themselves with their lives as the years when the story about the ups and downs? .Write here, I want to cry to the. .But has no tears. .I said, no passion of love, like the old six-year-old woman, withered **, and then force-feeding is also not a child. .My tears, as early as the fall in 1999, drained. .December 2098, a small all of the birthday, I went to Guangzhou. .At that time, I gave the money has been writing for several magazines may pay tuition fees. .I have bought a great little gift bag, from clothes to socks, from the razor into the toilet water, gifts messy trivial, small but happy words were choked. .He knows that this fine mind, is love. .That night, he and I, as well as several of his classmates went out to dinner, banquet, I found a woman he and his classmates to run, overlapping dialogue is wonderful, this little all, I have not seen .. .I have seen are mild delicate little affection, this joke about the poor blind boy, I am very strange. .That girl was supposed to be hearty very talented girls, they actually at the dinner table of a poem. .Days Kelian Jian, I've already put poetry back behind and I remember when I learned how, and Li Jun, beginning when he was interested in literature? .Them back to You and Tang Wan's "Reproduction", I get up and go black face, and threw a table of people dumbfounded. .There are some things that I ignore the. .I love Li Jun, love to the bone marrow, I do not see the other one the opposite sex, but also not allow him to see other people look. .I said little all, you are my world, I have only you, I have no other, I forbid you to leave me, unless I die. .I'm paranoid, suspicious, self-willed, strong desire to share. .I often have to call in the middle of the night to the small, as long as his classmates said he was not, I could not sleep all night, I would have laid hands on him the next day asked endlessly. .I left dinner that night, a man went to the Guangzhou Railway Station to the other car, still sitting on the steps of the high side, head resting against the railing. .I'm trying to sort out a clue to four years, I have lost to Li himself. .I am determined to be sub-micrometer, and he's determined to sub-micrometer to the end I found that he's not all, but I thought it was all. .I am sensitive and depression, hysteria lurking somewhere deep in the bones. .Guangzhou in December, the day hot it might be cool at night but also sting. .I'm groggy, sleep at the Guangzhou station. .Middle of the night, I was holding up, wake up, throw a slap in the face the past, but were found to be small, he then held me and let me beat kicking bombs, outspoken call him, I was in his white wrist .bite out of rows of teeth marks. .He did not say anything, holding me go fast. .He will hold me straight into the side of Liuhua station, a hotel room, throw on the bed. .But it is soon turned to cries muffled. .Long silent, I feel chest tightness. .I rushed over and fell on his back, I murmured: small are, I love you. .He slowly turned around to hug me and kiss my eyes, my pale cheeks and lips. .Then he asked me. .This is our first time, we agreed to stay until the wedding day that day, but we did not. .All natural, we jerky, trembling, fear, excitement, madness. .One night we again and again, tears, sweating and bleeding. .Dawn of time, were holding my hand, slipped from the hotel waiter down side, we stole a piece of linen, then at the top with my son's pure blood red. .Five thousand one hundred ninety-nine nine years of summer, I went to Guangzhou, looking for units to prepare for the internship, one year after I began to prepare and small are Shuangsushuangfei life. .Since that night, we no longer overstepped, we also ridiculous contract, will be left to the second wedding night. .We say this, there is a sacred expression of his face was like really. .I was in Guangzhou in the day, very frustrated, I did not expect so hard to find work in Guangzhou, day laborers are generally required to be in Cantonese, and I will not, I will fiercely fluent Mandarin and Wuhan, then, is not Cantonese. .I have all day to stay in a small little house I rent a daze. .At that time all have a standard small word of Guangzhou. .He answered the phone to the side when I looked at him stupidly, like listening to the birds. .I often hear Couguo there is male or female, he had initially pushed me smile, then a few times, obviously fiercely pushing me. .And I have a small crowded beds when we hold tight, hard to resist the desire to have said little later I come you do not. .Small are nodding, kissing my forehead, said: Anyway, I will hold you in this life until death, no later than one year two years, I can hold. .I cried, tears dripping rub in a small are of the shirt. .Days in Guangzhou, is the sweetest day of the decade. .Every day after work, carrying three to two small trees are green vegetables and some cooked food back apron to cook for me, I looked behind him much of his tall figure busy to cry. .I cry not eat, he knocked Fanpen singing: the words that person is an iron rice is the meal do not eat steel ah * ah * hunger of panic until I grinned, his timely fed to food, we red .his eyes looked at each other, devouring the meal, and then kissed, and I obsessed with his lips, his fascination with my eyes and my neck. .Sometimes we walked way, I stopped and said to him: a small all I want you, he kissed me on the arm around my eyelashes. .Cracks also appeared during this period. .I did not find a job, I had plenty of ambition and self-righteous talent, but did not display place, seeing I was in Guangzhou for almost a month. .I am a very vain woman, and I can not stand this laid-back, can not stand this state of limbo feeling. .Little said nothing to me all he could to support me, and he intern at Motorola, but also quite popular, often colleagues invited him to party. .Yao said he was at every party with us is good. .I looked down in silence, I do not want to look at people and I am depressed DW clothing champagne. .I not only own my self-esteem. .Small are getting longer ask for my advice, just give me a pager message, tell me that he had not come back together. .On several occasions, the small were very late back, feeling the alcohol. .Whirring and sleep lying on my side, he did not know I was not asleep. .That night he is a little back, I lay muffled, and he softly open the door, take a shower pajamas, and I take him for turning down the shirt, actually smell a perfume. .My heart just fell into the icehouse once. .I sat in the dark room, mind blank, dull look blankly out the window underneath the moon. .Are from the bathroom out of a small, dark to bed, probably did not touch me, crying softly Shen Yao, the sofa in the dark corners of my children Bu Zhisheng, he called Shen Yao, you're kidding, you accidentally stumble black house .about, talking to touch the light cord, when I adjusted to the darkness, I saw his figure in the movement, I ran to stand up fiercely pushed him, he did not stop and fell to the ground. .He thought he and I joked, smiled and got up and pulled bright light, saw me standing unkempt middle of the room, tears bubbling out of Bay. .He looked at me blankly Shen Yao said how do you? .I pointed to his nose, said: Li are you bastard! .He wanted to hold me back up, I kicked in the past, then he fell to the ground, he said, how do you Yaoyao? .I stood up, as wolf as the head toward him. .I caught him biting him, he stood still, any time I vent. .Until the end, I finally tired, down on the bed fell asleep. .Woke up and saw standing at the window all the small smoke cigarettes twinkling in the night. .I then see him lying on the back side and saw the eyes grow dim, he then stood motionless, and then went on a cigarette end point of a fuel. .It was getting white, I get tired, he was standing there, I gently asked him: small are. .He seemed to turn, but fell to the ground splash. .I jumped out of bed, rushed him a hug and screamed, and I dragged him to bed, the heart does not move faster to jump the small are, my little all, how he was? .I find shaking the phone, I do not know what the dial number, and I shook him, I kissed him, and he does not wake up, I despair of paralysis at the bedside howl, I think small are dead. .So I have been crying crying, crying out to the throat are dumb, no tears, I found the small are slowly opened his eyes, he touched my face and asked: how do you Shen Yao, and you crying about? .I said hoarsely: small all I thought you were dead. .Are tired of small laugh: I'm just tired, I'm sleepy. .I climbed on the bed, climbed into both arms, as the snake wrapped around him, and he patted me on the shoulder, and gradually went back to sleep in the past. .That time, we have that small bed, a full night sleep for two days. .We are tired to the point of unbearable. .I often think I slept in this life is the most full day. .Six times I described the scene at that time often fall into, and do-go. .Then I started to feel bad that I. .I like a lost little beast, I stumbled, I am extremely upset that I had this nightmare: I was a Dairen catch up, I ran and ran and was found in front of the cliff, I only hesitated for a second to jump down, .Finally, I woke up, I'm still small arms are, I often burst into tears in the middle of the night. .I fear that the feelings of a man running, and if someone can take my hand, I feel safe. .All that I like a small weapon, not already out of its scabbard, a sheath to wounding. .Said this, he looked at me bitterly. .He hates my temper, as I affectionately love. .More hate and more love. .He and I had trouble with increasing frequency, I love to suffocate him. .I like a madman, I want more and more. .We argue again and again, and again plays embrace sleep. .Summer passed quickly, a small all sent me to the train station, quietly without saying a word. .I'm standing on the platform, to please both hands to pull the small, and he held my hand, holding casual, I could feel him and I did not want to hand out. .I always face in one second, my temper has come for no reason. .In the end he was afraid, and he no longer talk to me, just quietly give me cooking and washing. .This day, a man unwilling to continue, but I came to realize that until today has been completely late. .August 30, 1999, Li had finished all my twenty-first birthday, and then at Guangzhou station told me not to us, we should not severely hurt each other is not. .I did not speak, eyes calm and Li are watching, this scene has appeared many times in my dreams, I will be awakened at last become a reality today, as I am helpless and suffering palpable. .Li was carrying all my luggage shoulder, carrying me to buy a large pocket of fruit. .I suddenly felt funny, like a camel Li uniform until now still doing the same for my boyfriend's share of the matter, but he can break up to say how he should at least be a little bad attitude, expression, pull off, but his .gentle look at me, pamper at me, a pain than I am forced to satisfactory end. .I finally did not hold back, I laughed, clutching his stomach rolling laugh. .Li all the luggage on the ground, said one: Shen Yao, and you stop it, I have get tired. .I got up a little bit of luggage carried on the shoulders, the fruit bags across their chests, great strides walk to the car, there is no turning back. .I then sat in the sleeper compartment to hold luggage, the dull eyes like an idiot. .One minute before the train, I jumped out. .Lost all my luggage in the car, and I carried a backpack slanting in the crowd were looking for Li, in the end, I despair against the Guangzhou station overpass, the sky is already rotten. .I go step by step tottering, and so I have come to him that the station to see him then of course, squatting in his side of the pier, desperate to smoke. .I was standing a meter away from him, so he raised his head, until I stood numb feet, and he did not look up, I clearly saw the hand of his burning cigarette. .I'm almost fainted at the time, he finally stood up and shot him in the ash, then saw me, he walked beside me and held out his hand to pull me, I pulled by him, Bileyanjing the go. .He dragged me to the side of the road ride, I asked him: Where are you taking me. .He did not say anything, I said: small are, I'll have to go, I want to go back to Wuhan, I just want you to spend the last night. .I do not want your pity. .Do not. .She spoke I was hysterical, waving my arm, shouted out: I will not depend on you, I jump off the train not to depend on you. .Then I cried unpromising, I Didi said: I just forgot the taste of you hold me to sleep. .Him a Louguo me, breathing heavily tearful: Yaoyao, Yaoyao, I love you. .I love you. .He was almost caught in the arm in my back our little room, the room was empty. .Only a mattress on the bed, and he will be in bed by my life, I like the kiss me, I feel like I should be kissed spit. .My tears have not so much a person's tears do have some capacity, will one day be dried. .He hugged me and kissed me inch by inch, he was like a child crying to me. .Tears patter off my chest, after so long, I thought I could feel the tears of hot. .We are familiar with each other's body, such as a natural act in harmony. .I saw a voluptuous flowers on the roof, the bloom was loud and the sound of my nails grasp the small trail of blood stains were on the back. .We are desperate to each other on the bare mattress, leaving the last of the passion of my life. .The next day, I am a calm person to the airport, take the first available flight back to Wuhan, it was my first time flying, I decided to go to the Guangzhou Railway Station is not a lifetime. .That time, Li are sweet mattress to sleep in rental housing, the arm customary Tanzhao, as if I was in his arms. .Seven wrote here, I see this experience to a friend, he did not speak, holding tears while watching printout, he said: In those years, you suffer. .I laughed, I told him that bitter is just beginning, a small all around the day, however hard it is sweet. .The champions, my love, with a rope called the murder of my love. .Back to Wuhan, I lost the pager. .Moved quarters. .Were too small to call, I did not answer, I let the students tell him that I had dropped out. .Wuhan were not looking for small to me, and I understand he is tired, he tired of my self-willed. .I want him, but deliberately let himself forget him, and he bored me, and I repeat itself self-esteem, I will not Sipilailian the look for him. .Not. .Twenty days later, I'm serious insomnia, mouth in a long string of bulbs. .I almost did not how to eat. .I began to resent him. .That morning, I finally get up bed, I lay in bed dormitory, feeling dying. .I struggled up and cook a bowl of instant noodles, torn bags I feel like vomiting, instant noodles so that I can not stand the taste. .I brought lunch to buy lunch **, ** he first entered the door, I was sick. .I came back to the school door to buy a bowl of jelly, put a lot of pepper, and crouched on the finished side of the road gorge. .I went back to quarters, just something to eat up the Bay, I went to the bathroom, eat something bitter to all spit out. .I straightened up, standing on the tap side thought, I was not suffering from anorexia it? .I went to the hospital, I was told pregnant. .Out of the hospital, my feet can not find a way, I almost floating back to the hostel. .My body, with a life, I fear and sadness. .I never thought I would in the twenty-year-old age, to become a mother. .I was a kid, my day is not leaning on someone else's chest I do not safe. .I almost spit out again every morning, my body is not thin. .Gradually the students I hesitated to the child, the child has been in my body more and more stubborn existence. .After struggling in a sleepless night I decided to leave this child, I love both of Li evolved into the extreme resentment against him, I gave birth to this child, I want to take the child to find him, asked him how sorry I am willing to .. .I became completely crazy, tormented his children became my tool. .I fantasize about countless times with the child looks like his face, standing in front of him, smiled and told him that it was your child, and then look at his pained expression, I would laugh, sharp laugh. .I am starting from October 1999 and became a sheath knife. .I contacted the fastest speed beer Shenzhen, a well-known group, and then write an application to the school in advance to the real October 10, I stood on the streets of Shenzhen, where I work is a big seafood town, I became a beer promotion .members. .I wear large clothes, I want to earn in the shortest period of time a sum of money, and then in the stomach very up front out of here, find a quiet place to wait for delivery. .Shenzhen from Guangzhou, 2 hour drive, I have two hours away from where the small, bitter work, even at charming the guests laugh, open ambiguous joke, I like a complete slut, like the .Jin Jinzuan every penny in his hand. .I have to live with violent reaction in early pregnancy, and I vomit every ten minutes into the toilet once. .I shall not see all the yellow things, met on the spit. .I can not use that language to describe the feeling, I said, I'm not described Cotyledons, I'm feeling more and more difficult narrative, as an adjective can not express my feelings at that time, I was angry and frustrated, but With a woman .innate compassion, I am increasingly distressed life in my belly, in the end I thought, I went to him to find his father, so he was born when a see a generous shoulder. .I kept thinking I was a daze. .At that time, I have no tears. .I give my child to take a lot of names such as carved Shen Shen days, Shen Chao, I really like as a young mother, pregnant women go to the bookstore query instructions, I will not stay up all night, I drank a lot of nutrition in the soup, but I'm fat .not up, the child around the corner for four months, my stomach actually remains flat, the company still regard me as a young, up and down, like the servants labor, I am a person carrying twelve bottles of beer back and forth, no one knows my waist .should not straighten up. .December 25, 1999, I learned from Shenzhen City Seafood Carnival fell down the stairs, blood trickling from a high ladder to walk, meandering like my youth. .My child, no more. .That little life, my youth in my body the only brand of skin carved, then gently Yishuai to died. .I think that major surgery between the empty, the blue screen behind the high capacity bed, the cold stirring device in my body, biting my lips tightly, so that the fifty-gynecologist, a loving look at me .said: boy, you call out it, pain is called soon. .I did not call, my lips started bleeding, the doctor gave me wipe, she said: a pity, is a boy, fast, five months, but for fall look, do not have to lead off. .She gathered her equipment, said: Do you want to see one? .I desperately shaking his head, and then coma. .Write here, I collapsed on the same underlying set down, covered with a little effort and no. .I feel bad that more and more intense Shen Yao, I do not even think it was five years ago, I, I want your arms out into the winter of 1999, giving a warm hug Yao Shen, let her in my .the arms of sleep a sweet sleep. .How I come over? .How I bury the past? .Or I'm just writing a story, the story of a false blood flowing? .But I clearly see the weakness of the Shen Yao out of the hospital door, carrying a simple luggage. .She saw the door in the hospital surrounded by a group of people playing chess, she Couguo see, there are like five years ago, high school, between classes, she looked at Li Baba and others were playing chess, she squatted on the roadside, the solution of a chess game, .win fifty dollars, fifty dollars she was holding it like: small are you in the end in my life hidden under a number ah? .I actually still rely on your ability to make money! .I went back to the hostel, before we know who are heard throughout the hotel I do unmarried pregnant, I was fired. .My head held in the eye of other people to pack up, I could not stay longer. .I took out the savings account and all the money went to the Guangzhou Railway Station, purchase tickets, call my friend to let her bread to Wuhan to meet me, and then only 2 dollars on hand, I am not hungry .I bought a piece of melon with a bamboo stick stuck. .I like standing on migrant workers in Guangzhou, like disheveled station, my Guangzhou, Guangzhou, my station, I have all the sad memories at Guangzhou station. .Mind when I thought, was a beggar melon grab over. .Learning. .I'm hungry on the train and sleep. .I have been sad to numb. .To Wuhan and saw the bread took her first move was to run to the noodle shop. .Pull bread tears in my eyes looking at me eat two bowls of ramen friends, and she holds my hands red with cold rub, Wuhan, snow is already filled, I wore a thin jacket, his face full of frozen goose bumps. .Bread and my classmate ten years, I did not hide her, she is my only girlfriend, but I am all in Guangzhou, she did not know that all people do not know, I like cancer patients, like hiding from me .The most fatal injuries. .I got bread to her apartment, when she had to work, rent a house is a single room, neat, still warm, the room was filled with a touch of floral, reveals a warm house. .She stuffed into my purse money, a thick wad, and then to propose a pocket, which is a beautiful coat. .I do not, I said. .She looked into my eyes, Tears said: Yaoyao, starting today, you have to make a living for their people. .The only material I can to resolve the issue, other issues you have to themselves. .I do not know, three days ago, Li had a history of standing room steamed bread, red eyes on the bread, said: CHONG, you know Yaoyao where? .Bread ferocious said: You will come to think of her? .How do you willing to upset her? .A man she did not know where to stray now! .Li are seeking bread to give him a clue he could find me, bread and gave him my address in Shenzhen. .The Intellectual in the day to Shenzhen, Shenzhen is the day I left, maybe we stare out in a vehicle hi Liao Angeles? BR too. .The brush, so I put down Li are thoroughly because of my lovely old colleagues describe me as one who is nurturing and being abandoned Jour. .They describe the appearance of bloody when I fall, that time, Li What are the expression of what? .Have become a riddle. .Five years, I have not entered step in Guangdong Province. .Where is my hell. .In telling the story of eight, I ignored a lot of people. .They in my life skimming by. .For example, in Shenzhen hotel, a boy had secretly stuffed me a note, the rose stuck in my dorm window lattice, I is not never seen never touched, but I severely hurt him, I stood under the street to ask .He: You're a waiter, what means to love me? .His face was crimson night, big mouth and exhaled, then turned away. .He gave me a phone number. .I said I sent you an e-mail, back to Guangzhou after you know my answer. .This dream, I did a full three years, so tired. .And these, I do not know. .So small are just looked at me, it was hold down the Monastic, he һ����һ�� of spicy white wine drinking. .Eight people, two card tables. .Mahjong table poker table. .He is no longer in place waiting for my man. .I would like to find a corner, Tianshi wound, not the not the Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Wuhan is not. .I seem farther and farther away from the small all. .I forbid you to cry. .Suker put my hand wrapped in his big hands, said: I'll wait. .I said. .What then?.

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